Currently The Way You Make Me Feel By Michael Jackson see related

6 months have passed since my last entry. gosh, so much has happened. i passed the step 1, found out i had to move to NYC, found an apt and set myself up here with my mom in a span of 5 days and began internal medicine. now, 6 months later, i'm at the end of my surgery rotation. the two longest rotations are nearly complete and my NYC days are coming to an end. and finally, finally! i get to move back home to cali for the remainder of my rotations. holy crap. in 1.5 yrs i will have my medical degree in my hands. and then i'll have to wait about 7-8 months til i start residency, but whatever. i've gone from living on an island, to living in miami, to living in NYC. and although it has been a blast getting to know these cities and sight see and go out and meet new people, i am READY to move back. i am ready to be close to my family, have my car at my disposal, and to finally be living in the same area as kunal. almost 3 years of long distance is exhausting! but of course, he's worth it. so now, i have 1.5 weeks left in this city and i plan on enjoying every minute of it, just as i have been.

on a sadder note, MJ passing away became a bit more real today while watching his memorial in LA and hearing all the people who loved him and knew him speak and sing of and for him. and the fact that he has these three little kids who will never know how great their father was is so heartbreaking. hopefully they will be able to bypass the negativity and scruitiny their father had to endure and will be able to recognize the sheer genius that was michael jackson. RIP.

sometimes you look around you and realize that everything and everyone is effing bullsh*t and you just want to punch a wall.

some things i can just never figure out no matter how i hard i try. i guess certain things just aren't supposed to make sense. i just hate being told one thing and being shown another.

Currently Take You There 4th semester :) see related

absolutely insane

u know what's crazy? i'm actually missing the island right now. i know i complained so much while i was there, but i have to admit that i had some fun experiences/adventures out there. and i made AMAZING friends. the social aspect of it (what little there was) was just like a continuation of undergrad........just with more work, no clubs, and crappy food, haha. i really miss my friends from out there. i miss all of us hanging around my and hiteshi's apartment making fun of each other, referencing our inside jokes, and just being obnoxious all around. i can definitely say that without those people (and kunal, my saving grace) i would not have been able to get by out there.

being so close to taking this exam is just kind of putting things in perspective for me. for the past two years i have dreaded taking this test. and in 48 hours, i'll be done with it. i think the past 24 months have been the most amazing and most miserable all at the same time, haha. but i wouldn't have had it any other way.

i wonder if there's anyone in this entire world who loves me even a fraction of how much you love me. life never felt so amazing until you came into it. i miss you!

i pretty much think it's bullshit to have to change yourself for someone. even if it's your family. and it really sucks when everyone gangs up on you because you won't change who you are. especially when it's your family.

i hate feeling like i'm the source of the problem. its so easy for them to put all blame on me instead of taking some responsibility for their own actions.

they just don't get me. and they don't want to.